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 “Let the winds of doctrine blow me.” (Milton)

Conservatism is not, strictly speaking, synonymous with stupidity. Nor is liberalism, properly understood, a metaphor for perversion.

Edmund Burke was a conservative and he was no dummy. Gandhi liberated an entire people and he is no doubt on a fast track at the Vatican.

Conservatives wish to preserve that which is best in our traditions, including freedom of speech — which was once a radically liberal cause.

Liberals want to enlarge the sphere of our best traditions, to afford the protection of law to those whom conservatives would prefer to exploit, if not own outright. In order to do so, they are perfectly willing to shout you down.

I was watching a liberal program last night. It was all about the burgeoning Arab media, a field wherein Al Jazeera is clearly out in front. I learned that a conservative “think tank” had succeeded in banning Al Jazeera from US airwaves.

“Brilliant!” I thought. “Surely peace and understanding between our peoples can only be served by fostering ignorance of them on our side. Those consultants are worth their weight in gold. Surely the framers of our Constitution did not intend for freedom of speech to be extended to the heathen, who have no understanding of the liberties enshrined in that document.”

Satisfied with my analysis, I turned to Fox News, where I learned the most recent wrinkle surrounding the death of a prominent bimbo with remarkable knockers.

“How could the story become more sordid?” I wondered, though not for long.

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